This is supposed to be my journal, right?

So here are some things plaguing my mind:

I hated leaving China - I'm SOOO fucking happy that I'm here in America, finishing up collage. I can't imagine being there for so long without the proper technology and people telling me the truth. I just feel like I walked out on something, and I don't like the idea of it. It's the principle.

I fucking want to play music again - I just feel really scared when I plug in the keyboard and I hit the note and it makes a sound and I just want to stop because I'm not Mozart. That's the train of thought anyway.

I love my ferret - I fucking read her thoughts. But it makes me sad that we have dissimilar interests. I would rather play video games all day while she would rather sleep. Plus she poops too much.

I really love my girlfriend - because I know that she's reading this *heart*

I hate being addicted to things - Video games, cigarettes, Coke-a-Cola. Just knowing that something has an ACTUAL pull on my thoughts and actions makes me sick. But these strings are hard to cut. I rebel at times, telling my self that I'm better for it, "proving" that I'm in control, then I crash and seek comfort in what vices in know (masturbation).

LOL - didn't see the masturbation thing coming did you? Gotcha!

I'm fat - holy shit I'm fat. After I finish school I really want to do the P90x thing, but eating healthy food sucks. Oh, and coke, cigarettes, etc., masturbation.

I hate living at home - my mom is the snoopiest person ever. My invalid grandmother who never leaves the couch is her Woodstock.... which makes me... Linus?

House is getting old - not Hugh though, just the show. It's like, "hey, nothing makes sense so lets just confuse everyone and promote dosing people with lethal doses of radiation and poor medical practices, then solve the case! Hey everyone, it's not lupus!"

My friends suck - most of them anyways, some of the time. Oh man, can we stop taking everything so seriously everyone? Y'all niggas need to lighten up. All the politics, all the selfishness, all the uncleanliness, fuck that shit. It's boring, it's rude, and it's gross. Fix yo shit.

I feel like everyone is doing nothing - but then why bother asking what I'm doing? Wouldn't I too be doing nothing? Are you asking because you want something to do? Then why shy away when I bring something up, pretending to be doing something?

Real cool people don't care about being cool - but all the fakes want to hang out with other fake people that fake it better. I believe this is why it's so hard for me to find people as cool as me, they try too hard.

I have all these ideas about story lines, I just don't know what to do with them. I think I should story board them, then have a picture book, that way I can do what I want with them later. I just need to be able to draw so that I can understand them later.

Oh, and New years resolutions suck.

Bye!