"If there is a wall in our way, we'll destroy it. If there is no road, we'll pave one with our own hands."

Update:
I received my first "A" at USF. To fully express my emotions at the time I will simply say that I liken it to the scene in Spanglish where Adam Sandler gets the good restaurant review. Fair to say I was excited, as was my mother, but something that I had dreaded had finally come true; I set the bar higher. Something that I have prolonged for so long, getting the good grade showed that I wasn't the average student. I am beginning to show up on the radar. Is it so wrong to crave tranquillity? To want obscurity? I look at the image of the prominent business elite, the socialite, the smooth talker, "the walk" walker.
All that attention isn't something that I want, it never has been, but things can't be about what I want anymore, now they have to be about what I need. To choose that kind of future, or any other; in the end I have a number of paths before me, same as the next man, but I fear that my indecisiveness will be the end of me. The bad end. So in an attempt to organize my thoughts I will try to lay them out here, for the world to see. As much as I want to be hidden, I can't let myself simply disappear. I've made my presence known now, and I have to adjust accordingly.

Finish school
I need to finish my B.A., end of story. I also need to do well in all my courses to make sure that people don't see that "A" as just a fluke. People will see my potential, and how far I have been willing to take it. This is my Priority One.
Get a Job
Holy crap. Seriously planning to skip meals just to fill up my gas tank, pay my rent, or other utilities... As much as I would like to wait for an internship, my father cannot continue to support me. I need to start making money on my own. Plus I've begun to put a strain on my girlfriend with all the money issues. The only problem is that a job may interfere with my education, having less time for school work and projects would put a strain on my grades.

You know, I seriously thought that there would be more. To be honest, things are a bit more complicated than that, but maybe they don't have to be. I just need a job that will pay the bills... I just have to focus on studying and working... but at what cost? Do I have to give up my friends and family? Studying all week, working weekends, this type of schedule is stressful for me because I care very much about my friends and family.
Would doing so would mean that I would be neglecting them. In my list of priorities I would have them at the top, but is that just idealistic thinking? Casting aside those that care for me, raised me, supported me, for my own selfish ambition; isn't that like selling out? Or is there a socially acceptable amount that I can get away with (if I should settle for society's standards instead of my own)?
How would they feel if I told them I had to put them on the back burner, missing birthdays and holidays? These are the people who taught me the meaning of virtues and sacrifice, to honor and respect them. Would I be openly spitting in their faces? Would they understand the pain in my heart that I feel as I put this down? How can I when they continue to support me to this day emotionally and financially?
I guess it isn't so simple. With so many questions, perhaps I should just ask them. In philosophy class we learned that we shouldn't fear the future, because the future is unknown we don't know whether it will be good for us or bad.
Perhaps I will bring these things to their attention. My grandmother is out of town, my father... to be honest I wonder what kind of advise he would give. As I understand, things aren't going so well for him either. I would like to speak to my uncle again, the last time I had a good talk with him, I was considering becoming part of the clergy after I had finished school.
Before all of those, I will start with those closest to me, in a more physical distance sense. My girlfriend, then brother, mother, grandmother-B, friends, father, uncles, then grandmother-D. Maybe I should print this out for notes...

For the sake of posterity, I simply cannot end a post in such a way, so I will end with one of my favorite quotes: "If there is a wall in our way, we'll destroy it! If there is no road, we'll pave one with our own hands."

So kids, lets set out there and make it happen!